


Outcome

by thatdamneddame



Category: Bourne Legacy (2012), The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Angst, Backstory, F/M, M/M, Origins, Post-Movie(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-12
Updated: 2012-08-12
Packaged: 2017-11-11 23:10:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdamneddame/pseuds/thatdamneddame
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At first there is Aaron Cross. In the end there is Clint Barton. This is the story of in between.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outcome

**Author's Note:**

> I told myself that I wasn't going to write this. Whoops. My love for Clint Barton apparently knows no bounds.
> 
> Anyways, there's not really any major spoilers for the film, but, you know, tread with caution. This fic does pick up at the end of the movie.

She’s a warrior, of course she is, but it’s cancer that kills her. In the end. There is no Bruce Banner, not yet. No one curing cancer at the world’s edge. It’s just Aaron and Marta and the people they now call family in this place they now call home.

*

There’s a body in June Monroe’s grave that is not June Monroe. Marta Shearing’s stays empty. He sister’s grief fades with time. The world goes on.

*

He’s done it before, changed his name. The recruiter did it for him, that first time, but he’d done it all the rest. Blank passports just a photo away from a fresh start.

The circus, though, that’s a new one.

*

Carnies are easy to fall in with. No one uses their real name. No one has pasts they're particularly proud of. No one really questions how good the new guy is with a bow and arrow. Not when he does good work. Not when he sticks to himself.

*

The ringleader says, “You’re good, Clint, but you gotta put on a show. Make these people want to _be you_. There’s no money in reality.”

Aaron figures this is the truest thing anyone’s said to him in a while. He teaches himself how to smile.

*

They say if you want to be happy act happy. Eventually the mask sticks. Eventually you forget how to frown. Eventually, Clint Barton starts to forget about Aaron Cross the way Aaron Cross forgot about Kenneth Kitsom.

It’s a start.

*

The man in the suit says, “We could use a man like you, Mr. Barton.”

Clint smiles the way Aaron Cross never could, “I don’t think you know the half of it.”

“Don’t worry,” the man smiles, “Aaron Cross died with Outcome. Clint Barton would be a man of SHEILD.”

Clint’s not so sure. Aaron Cross was property and property can be repossessed. The man in the suit leaves when Clint says no. Doesn’t leave a card. Doesn’t make a threat. Doesn’t look back.

*

Things go sideways in Avignon.

Aaron Cross would have died for his country and Kenneth Kitsom died for Iraqi Freedom. What has Clint Barton done lately?

*

In Belgrade, the man in the suit says his name is Phil Coulson. In Belgrade, Clint Barton says that he’s tired of running. What he means is that he’s tired of running from Marta’s ghost, from Aaron’s guilt.

The mask has started cracking. Clint Barton just wants to be happy again.

Phil Coulson says, “I can do that.”

*

Coulson asks, “Who do you want to be?”

And Clint says, “Myself.”

It’s the obvious answer but Clint doesn’t even know where to begin.

*

They treat him better, at SHIELD.

“We’re not sin-eaters,” preaches a man with one eye, “we’re not guardian angels. We’re not doing God’s work. We’re SHIELD and we protect our country, protect our _world_ , and we do it the right way.”

Clint’s not sure if SHIELD’s lying to him or lying to itself, but it’s a start. It’s better than nothing.

*

There’s this girl, and isn’t that how it always starts. There’s this girl and she is radiant and fierce and for a moment Clint Barton believes in reincarnation, the bow of her lips and fire in her eyes like someone he once loved.

He gives her a second chance because it’s the one thing no one ever offered Aaron.

*

Her name is Natasha and she is beautiful and she is damaged and, Clint thinks, she is good, deep down. That she is good in the only ways that really matter.

Phil Coulson is the only one who believes him. He makes sure they let her live.

*

Somewhere along the line, Clint forgot how to trust. He remembers Marta telling him he was just a number. He remembers thinking _she needs me and I need her_ , even after Manila. Even when they were lost.

Natasha says, “I owe you a debt, you can trust me,” her accent still heavy. Clint thinks _I need you and you need me_ and thinks that it’s not quite the same.

*

They give him money and tell him that he can do what he wants. Hawkeye is an asset of SHIELD but Clint Barton is a free man. He skips his physicals and scares the interns. Fury yells and Phil does his best not to smile and no one is sent to Alaska and the wolves never come.

*

Phil never says, “You can trust me,” just, “Are you okay with this?” and “Are you listening, Barton.”

Clint finds himself answering, “Yes.” Finds himself thinking, _I don’t need you_ , but finds himself not wanting to leave.

*

 Natasha tells him the nightmares she calls her past and Clint thinks that hers is the story of unmaking. He thinks, for the first time since Kenneth Kitsom was told that he could stay, that he is lucky. That he is a phoenix rising from the ashes.

*

When Clint Barton runs into Eric Byer on an undercover op he thinks, _shit_ and he thinks _I’m burned_ and he thinks _I hope I get to tell Phil and Natasha goodbye_.

But Byer is a clever man and Phil is a quietly threatening one and nothing ever happens. Clint Barton is allowed to live. No one bats an eye.

*

When Phil says, “You’re being considered for the Avengers Initiative,” Clint asks why, and Phil just shrugs, “Because you do good work. I trust you.”

Clint thinks it’s the first time in his life he’s not being lied to.

*

When Phil kisses him, all Clint can say is, “Marta didn’t even know my name at first.”

Phil smiles, something small and private, and asks, “Which one?”

 _This is trust_ , Clint thinks, _this could be love_.

*

It’s years later when he visits Marta’s gave. It’s years later and Phil is by his side and Natasha is in the car and the Avengers are waiting for him in New York. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore, not the like the beginning when all he could think was to run.

Clint kneels in the soft dirt, rock in hand, and does something he’s been meaning to do for years.

“Rest in Peace Marta Shearing,” Phil reads, Clint wiping the dirt off his hands.

“She was never anyone but herself,” Clint tells him. He remembers how even when she was afraid, even when she was shaking with fear, that she was brave. She deserved more than life gave her, but Clint thinks that this is something—the dignity to die with her own name.

“And who are you?” Phil asks.

Clint thinks that he could answer _myself_ or _Clint Barton, Avengers Initiative_ , but in the end, he gives the only answer that means something. “I’m happy,” he says, and seals it with a kiss.


End file.
